things i hate
Birth Date: 7/2/04
Late Update: 11/25/04
Site By: Gregory Martin

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Things I Hate

Charity At The Cashier: The day before Thanksgiving I decided that CVS would be a fine store where I could purchase some shaving cream. Indeed, my goal was easily achieved at the store. I didn't count, however, on being exhorted by the store's cashiers to contribute money to a children's hospital. Admittedly, the request was voluntary and small (only one dollar), but I quickly declined the offer. There are three issues I have with CVS's donation offer. First, goodwill should be a personally initiated activity. After all, how can one claim to be concerned about, say the children's hospital, if he has to be externally spurred to contribute (in the most path-of-least-resistance kind of way). Second, charity is ideally an anonymous act. The person who gives for recognition (even only if recognized by the cashier) is not giving for selfless reasons, and thus the donation is slightly tarnished. Conversely, people should not be compelled to contribute, and if there are negative connotations associated with not giving, a CVS shopper should not have to experience them. Finally, but related to the second point, frequent CVS shoppers will experience this same ritual over and over. It is impractical to expect that someone will always want to donate one dollar of every purchase to the hospital and the process of turning down the cashier (and experiencing negative "look at the scrooge" glances from fellow customers) is burdensome and potentially embarrassing. I would rather donate a lump sum of money to the hospital, in private, than wait in line to participate in charity at the cashier. (2004-11-24)

Homeland Security By Photo-Op: This picture accompanied an article in the September 13, 2004 issue of Newsweek. The article, titled "Taking Aim At Our Enemies," discussed "state-of-the-art security measures" that had been put to use recently during the Democratic and Republican National Conventions. "Though huge gaps remain, the ultimate aim is to make Americans safer without making America feel like a police state." The question, however, is whether it is worth the cost to stage elaborate photo-ops that establish a false sense of security. The photo caption read, "A Coast Guard chopper circles New York City." Who truly believes that a sniper flying high above the city can spot and accurately shoot a terrorist? It is impossible, so this picture serves only as a way of scaring people into thinking that we are safer than reality indicates. Similarly, another Newsweek issue showed a heavily armed man guarding the subway system in Washington, DC. One of my mother's coworkers was sitting in the train at the time the photographer took the picture. She said that the photographer and the "guard" got on the train, took the picture, and subsequently got off. The picture was staged. This sense of false security is worse than no security at all. (2004-10-10)

Fundraisers For Public Services: As I drove to Tysons Corner one day I saw several Fairfax County Firefighters loitering at the intersection soliciting donations. The firefighters walked past my car with a boot in which I was encouraged to put money. I resisted, for it makes no sense for these public servants to spend time collecting money for expenses that should be paid by the government in the first place. The government is encouraged to inadequately fund public services if said services are allowed to, and ultimately end up, soliciting donations. This defeats the point of a public service, in which everyone is supposed to contribute significantly, rather than everyone contributing moderately and then some (through donations) contributing significantly. Police, firefighters, and others have better things to do with their time than raise money. Also, some of these groups contract out the fundraising to organizations that reap nice rewards by hassling people to donate to services that they should already be supporting in the form of taxes. (2004-09-06)

License Plate Advertising: I have never understood why people don't take off the license plate holders that serve as advertisements for the company where the car was purchased. For one, the holder looks tacky (as do specialized holders that promote a college or the like). More importantly, why advertise for a for-profit company? Unless the dealership discounted the price of the car with the understanding that you would promote their company, then you are pointlessly serving as a corporate tool. (2004-09-06)

Openers Who Demand Too Much Attention: I'm normally a fan of musical opening acts. They deserve respect and people should pay attention to them––to an extent. I've had some great experiences with openers. I really got into Ben Harper, Leona Naess, and M. Ward because I saw them open for an artist that I liked. Sometimes I go to a show to see the opener and leave before the headliner comes on stage, as when Robert Randolph opened for Strangefolk. Other times I go to a show and end up liking the opener more than the headliner that attracted me to the show, as was the case when MacGregor opened for John Brown's Body and when The Clarks opened for John Mayer. It's even possible to play the "Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon" game with bands. I saw John Mayer who turned me onto The Clarks, who turned me onto Citizen Cope, who turned me onto Brock.

Anyway, I like openers and pay attention to them, but there is a serious problem with openers who want too much attention. Duncan Sheik opened for Ben Folds in 2002 and asked that the crowd sit down on a gymnasium floor for his set. Half the crowd paid attention and half didn't, forming an awkward situation (with some people complaining about not being able to see) that only subsided when the awful artist got off stage. The worst case of a band going beyond opener bounds was the Graham Colton Band opening for Cake. First, they demanded that the crowd stand for their set (this being in a big amphitheater at a show with multiple openers). After expressing disappointment that only scattered groups of people stood, they asked the crowd to sing along to one of their subpar songs. Since the crowd was bored by their set, the band received a weak response from the audience, but rather than finish the song, they played on for a couple more minutes, asking again and again for people to sing and stand. After a while people started to sing, mostly hoping that singing would encourage the band to leave the stage. So in summary: If you are an opening band, understand that you are playing to get the crowd warmed up for the headliner. If you are great and win new fans, that's fantastic, but most of the crowd is not at the show to see you so don't act like you're playing to an audience that cares about you and wants to sing and dance to your music. (2004-09-06)

Bloated Pictures: People who choose to send pictures by email should educate themselves about the workings of digital photography. Before the Internet existed did you send your friends and family gigantic poster-sized pictures of your new dog? Doubtful. Likewise, it is a waste of my time to receive a 2000 x 1500 image that, at full size, fills up the space of four monitors. Additionally, learn to compress image files so that I do not have several megabytes loitering selfishly in my inbox. Images should not be larger than 800 x 600, and they should be compressed appropriately. (2004-06-01)

Thumbnails For Dummies: If you are designing a website, never resize images on a page. Apparently some people don't understand the concept behind using thumbnails. I go to web pages where a 2000 x 1500 image has been reduced to a 200 x 150 thumbnail by a simple HTML resize directive. This defeats the point! Thumbnails are supposed to load quickly! Resize your image for real and don't waste my time (or my cache)! (2004-06-01)

IM Conversations That Begin With "Hey": Is there a reason that you are IMing me, or are you just bored? In either case, you are the one initiating a conversation, so it is your responsibility to come up with the first topic of discussion. Consider which is more interesting: "Hey," or "Hey, I heard that you had an 'interesting' adventure last night." Also, if you are IMing me for the first time in a long while, come up with something more original than, "Hey, I heard you now have a job." Yes, this is better than simply "Hey," but it's unclear as to why I'd want to repeat to you, someone who barely cares about me, the same speech I have already given to all my true friends. More appropriate is this line of attack: "Hey, remember how I owe you $50? Well, I want to pay it back." (2004-06-01)

Lousy Text Messages: This phenomon is similar to bad IM conversations but worse: these are a waste not only of my time but also of my money. Why do I want to pay two cents to receive a message that simple reads, "haha! lol!"?. Either come up with something original to say, or stay quiet. Text messages can be up to 160 characters, why not use more than nine? (2004-06-01)